Affirm or Evaluate

I have been re-reading a small book (69 pages) entitled BALCONY PEOPLE by Joyce Landorf Heatherley, who has a variety of inspirational books. One other book, SILENT SEPTEMBER, deals with constant pain.

This book was recommended by a cancer support group sponsored by CARTI, the area Central Arkansas Radiation Therapy Institute. This group holds luncheons in a nearby town, Mountain Home, for all cancer survivors, and caregivers, regardless of treatments. I only had surgery, the only treatment for kidney cancer, yet I am still welcome to take advantage of their luncheons and activities.

BALCONY PEOPLE is written to describe how to encourage and show your love and concern to others and affirmation of your love and respect for one another.

When you tell a person how you appreciate how well they clean your house, better than you ever could, that is affirming that person, but it is more than that, it is showing a certain kind of love for that person.

Conversely, there is the evaluator, unfortunately in the majority, who sums a person up and spits them out in rejection. There are evaluators whose job is to determine talent or qualifications for positions, but they can be affirmative.

The book I am re-reading is a second copy. I passed my first copy on to a person I felt needed it more than I did. But I wanted to refresh my memory of how to be an affirming person.

Although cancer survivors have need of affirming care, the survivor can also become an affirming person to others, especially other cancer survivors.

Of course, this philosophy is applicable in many life situations, not just cancer. How about a waiter/waitress who really serves you day after day in a friendly but attentive decorum; he/she really cares if your food is exactly what you expected, or the phlebotomist who has a special talent to hit that tiny vein (a most gifted person in my mind).

In the blogging world, we offer prayers and words of concern and encouragement.

It is wonderful to know there is a great and diverse group interested in each other .

However, this little book, written with references to organized religion, can help each of us be affirmers to those close to us everyday, our family, our friends, our business associates, our neighbors, the postal or newspaper delivery persons, the babysitter--the list can go on and on.

An Anonymous reading in the front to set the tone of the book is below; [not to be misunderstood, this booklet is written in the mode of our physical interaction with those persons in our everyday life---not the blogosphere. I am offering it simply because its message is imprinted in my mind.--NitWit1]

I WAS...

I was hungry and you formed a humanities club to discuss my hunger.

Thank you.

I was imprisoned and you crept off quietly to your chapel to pray for my release.

Nice.

I was naked and in your mind you debated the morality of my appearance.

What good did that do?

I was sick and you knelt and thanked God for your health.

But I needed you.

I was homeless and you preached to me of the shelter of the love of God.

I wish you'd taken me home.

I was lonely and you left me alone to pray for me.

Why didn't you stay?

You seemed so holy, so close to God, but I'm still very hungry, lonely, cold and still in pain.

Does it matter?

--Anonymous

The Commonality of the BIG "C"

WINGS OF HOPE

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in You my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings
until the disaster has passed.[Psalm 57:1]

Today, an event in our blogging world has given me an opening to write on a subject, Cancer. I have written on this subject before, but today the parameters are different; today the subject is my personal observation and experience of areas in which anyone can be a servant in what may be the greatest hour of need for encouragement, hope, empathy and love.

If a person has an encounter with CANCER, he/she knows what is meant by the Big "C.'' Not 0nly does the person have cancer, but the disease permeates the immediate and extended family and friends who are consumed with the issue of a loved one with cancer, the support, needs and cares of the cancer patient, and surrounding surrogates.

Yet the disease seems, or even is, so isolating to the cancer patient. To the patient cancer is seemingly perceived a contagious condition deserving isolation; no one wishes to discuss, or be around anything labeled cancer. ONE MORE TIME, cancer is not contagious -- hereditary links, perhaps -- but not like the common cold!

Some persons truly do not know what to say or do (BTW just sitting silently, but exuding a pleasant, peaceful countenance is the best gift of all). Some persons deny its existence because they have not dealt with their own mortality.

One of the more amazing statistics of my brief blogging career is the number of persons who are cancer survivors, none of which I specifically sought, but delightfully I've met, welcomed and shared stories I did not expect. --THE COMMONALITY OF THE BIG "C."

I'm not sure how each of you began blogging. I took an 1-day blogging workshop and set out mostly writing and randomly reading other blogs. I used a search engine for topics, like Arkansas, Texas, Weight Watchers . Then I would check their blog lists for interesting topics and lurked around. I sought persons who were doting pet owners.

My own cancer survivor (kidney) experience is described in two blogs, Scripture to Go - Part 1 and Part 2. Many of you encountered breast cancer, but there is a Duke's mixture of bone, cervical, lung, too. Also a number of bloggers are caregivers to cancer patients--what absolutely wonderful angels you are!

Some of you have confided you nearly died. Some of you have formed your own cancer survivor support groups, because of the isolation and loneliness of the disease as I described, even as survivors. Some of us expressed the wish we had blogging during the acute phase of cancer, the long, lonely hours of chemotherapy and radiation.

With this train of thought I lift up to you today Janine Rusnak of Sniffles and Smiles. I drifted through her blog early from some one's blog list [I really don't remember who]. She is on Facebook, too.

Janine had breast cancer and is a survivor; she also was a caregiver for her beloved Mother who was diagnosed with terminal ovarian, breast and lung cancer, very soon after Janine's chemotherapy ended. TODAY Janine is having a procedure near the site of her original surgery to determine if her cancer may have returned. She has written of some experiences in her blog.

Fellow bloggers, Faye and Jackie, Facebook friends of Janine's have graciously requested I post this simple WINGS OF HOPE photo today on my blog, which I would willingly do for anyone. These bloggers, Janine and I are on Facebook, but my Facebook use is fledging at best.

If you desire to send encouragement, hope and speedy recovery messages, I suggest you visit Janine's blog, leave an encouraging comment on her latest post and post this photo in comments (if possible) or in your blog, if you so wish. She has tons of comments, but she reads every single post!!! She may not respond immediately until her recovery allows her the strength.

Or you may link to my post, if you so desire.

And a tiny bit of my perverse humor: Tuesday (Oct. 13) I celebrated the 34th anniversary of my 39th birthday with a sightseeing visit to my physician's office where I was the proud recipient of a shot in the butt. How is that for creative birthday celebration!!!

Such thoughtfulness deserves a tad of respect so I lurked over to Jackie's blog, Teacher's Pet , and Faye's blog, Sleepless In Gainesville; both are very humorous.

But now, this is what the LORD says--he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. [ISAIAH 43:1 NIV