Mother was a stay-at-home homemaker, both her and Dad's choice. She had a delicate nervous system and was subject to prolonged deep depressions, but my deepest, ingrained memory of her was her "grizzly bear" protective pacifism.
Never calling attention to herself, Mother was gentle, innocent, quiet and soft-spoken, raising her voice only to make a point when all else failed.
I remember how shocked she was when Dad and I would talk "shop" after I joined the business world. She was totally amazed people would outright lie on credit applications, shoplift, write bogus checks, or in my profession, deceive me into selling them codeine cough syrups requiring a signature, after they and visited at least 10 other pharmacies, or "dropped their bottle in the toilet" to get a refill earlier than legally permissible. It only took a couple of tricks before I called physicians about these stories..
Mother once commented, "I don't how you can work every day and contend with crooks!" Of course, everyone was not a crook, but, as is human nature, Dad and I talked about the bad ones, a few of which we mutually knew.
No doubt, of the Ten Commandments, the most important was #6, "Thou Shalt Not Kill (KJV)," despite other Scripture to the contrary. Some versions are translated, "You shall not murder."
Because of her belief, discussion of violence, justified or unjustified, was common in our household, as we grew up. What about wars? Hunting for food? Capital punishment? Euthanizing animals? Swatting flies and stepping on spiders? Inquiring minds want to know!
Of course, there were Biblical images of a wrathful, avenging God, wars of total annihilation of life and livelihood, the Cities of Refuge, and "an eye for and eye, a tooth for a tooth" edict.
It was another 'Tis a Puzzlement" from The King and I musical.
Married in 1920, both were high school graduates. Dad attended a regionally known business college in Abilene, TX. Both had strict Christian beliefs, albeit, differing doctrines which eventually were reconciled as one.
Mother may have always been a protective pacifist; I'm sure it intensified when they adopted a daughter (me) after 10 years of childless marriage. After two years they had a biological son, followed two years later by adoption of another daughter.
Other than discipline, Mother abhorred violence in any form including child's play, children's toys (BB and water guns, cap pistols, toy tanks, soldiers, etc.), sports and some sports equipment like baseball bats, news stories, TV crime and Westerns, any weapon, even if it was a household utensil--knives, forks.
Somehow discipline in the form of "paddling" was not included in the definition of violence, and did not end in killing or murder, although I knew how to scream "bloody murder!"
She dutifully read the Biblical stories, many of which are violent and scary. How pacifist is being swallowed by a whale?
Dad never went on hunting trips with business clients, relenting to her worry of accidents and her aversion to killing or murdering life with respiratory systems.
I remember her weeping when Dad came home from a tour of an army camp near our hometown, Camp Bowie. The camp was a training camp and interment center primarily for German POWs .
Periodically, Camp Bowie held "open house" to showcase its training procedures, one of which was navigating a mine field. Dad regaled he successfully navigated the "unarmed mine fields", except for one. The image of his being blown to smithereens was too vivid.
Another side of Mother was seen less frequently. If her husband or children were maligned unjustly she became a frightening grizzly bear in her protective mode. No one spoke badly or unjustly of her family; impugning the family reputation was tantamount to murder.
In the serene environment siblings were never exposed to domestic violence, loud arguments, flying utensils or life-ending threats. Yes, parents had arguments and disagreements but not in front of us. If these arguments ever involved us, none of us knew. Further. whatever the disagreement concerned, when it was over, it was over. They always presented a united front.
There was never opportunity to "play" one parent against the other.
In retrospect I know we siblings were blessed to have wise, unselfish parents who did not need Dr. Spock to create a safe environment of refuge for the family unit.
Never calling attention to herself, Mother was gentle, innocent, quiet and soft-spoken, raising her voice only to make a point when all else failed.
I remember how shocked she was when Dad and I would talk "shop" after I joined the business world. She was totally amazed people would outright lie on credit applications, shoplift, write bogus checks, or in my profession, deceive me into selling them codeine cough syrups requiring a signature, after they and visited at least 10 other pharmacies, or "dropped their bottle in the toilet" to get a refill earlier than legally permissible. It only took a couple of tricks before I called physicians about these stories..
Mother once commented, "I don't how you can work every day and contend with crooks!" Of course, everyone was not a crook, but, as is human nature, Dad and I talked about the bad ones, a few of which we mutually knew.
No doubt, of the Ten Commandments, the most important was #6, "Thou Shalt Not Kill (KJV)," despite other Scripture to the contrary. Some versions are translated, "You shall not murder."
Because of her belief, discussion of violence, justified or unjustified, was common in our household, as we grew up. What about wars? Hunting for food? Capital punishment? Euthanizing animals? Swatting flies and stepping on spiders? Inquiring minds want to know!
Of course, there were Biblical images of a wrathful, avenging God, wars of total annihilation of life and livelihood, the Cities of Refuge, and "an eye for and eye, a tooth for a tooth" edict.
It was another 'Tis a Puzzlement" from The King and I musical.
Married in 1920, both were high school graduates. Dad attended a regionally known business college in Abilene, TX. Both had strict Christian beliefs, albeit, differing doctrines which eventually were reconciled as one.
Mother may have always been a protective pacifist; I'm sure it intensified when they adopted a daughter (me) after 10 years of childless marriage. After two years they had a biological son, followed two years later by adoption of another daughter.
Other than discipline, Mother abhorred violence in any form including child's play, children's toys (BB and water guns, cap pistols, toy tanks, soldiers, etc.), sports and some sports equipment like baseball bats, news stories, TV crime and Westerns, any weapon, even if it was a household utensil--knives, forks.
Somehow discipline in the form of "paddling" was not included in the definition of violence, and did not end in killing or murder, although I knew how to scream "bloody murder!"
She dutifully read the Biblical stories, many of which are violent and scary. How pacifist is being swallowed by a whale?
Dad never went on hunting trips with business clients, relenting to her worry of accidents and her aversion to killing or murdering life with respiratory systems.
I remember her weeping when Dad came home from a tour of an army camp near our hometown, Camp Bowie. The camp was a training camp and interment center primarily for German POWs .
Periodically, Camp Bowie held "open house" to showcase its training procedures, one of which was navigating a mine field. Dad regaled he successfully navigated the "unarmed mine fields", except for one. The image of his being blown to smithereens was too vivid.
Another side of Mother was seen less frequently. If her husband or children were maligned unjustly she became a frightening grizzly bear in her protective mode. No one spoke badly or unjustly of her family; impugning the family reputation was tantamount to murder.
In the serene environment siblings were never exposed to domestic violence, loud arguments, flying utensils or life-ending threats. Yes, parents had arguments and disagreements but not in front of us. If these arguments ever involved us, none of us knew. Further. whatever the disagreement concerned, when it was over, it was over. They always presented a united front.
There was never opportunity to "play" one parent against the other.
In retrospect I know we siblings were blessed to have wise, unselfish parents who did not need Dr. Spock to create a safe environment of refuge for the family unit.
PHOTO - Mother and Me. This is copy of a studio setting known as the MADONNA pose. It was sepia toned in this copy but Mother had some tinted, too. It is hard to imagine no cameras, no color, no Instamatics. My brother has Mother's earliest know camera, a Kodak Box camera.
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Post Script: Today was a Public Memorial Service for our Harp's Food Market Manager murdered last Monday. It was beautifully conducted with over 200 in attendance. I left my Life Group meeting early to attend this service.
One of my favorite hymns was sung a capella by a local musician. In my funeral singing days this was a favorite selection (I sang alto).
These days it is still one of my old time favorites for any occasion, and a great song of comfort and on my list for my own funeral of only music, reading of obituary and friends commentary--absolutely no sermon.
Read the inspiration for this hymn, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL or history, story and musical performance here or here, and probably 100+ other places on YOU TUBE.
